enjoyment

Okay well last night's show went really well so now I don't know what to do.

I was talking to the Germans living in my apartment last night and one of them said it was good people enjoyed it and I replied, in a sort of elitist patronising way that I kind of hate, sometimes you don't want people to like the show. That's for Music Theatre. There are other objectives, like learning, or depth of human thought, that won't make you a hero in their heads immediately but maybe later when they are thinking of the show they will see it as a turning point for something.



Anyway I think that's the conversation I'm having. They asked if I had stage fright which in German is apparently "Light fever" and I said no but I had a certain crisis that occurs when you are going on stage with no possible good result.

I think there must be something about this that is inherently interesting to me in unto itself or else I wouldn't have done it. I'm not a naturally nihilistic creature and I have no reason to be unhappy, (except that I am human).